So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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