Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize