i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
