My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
