Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
