that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
