Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize