I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Randomize
