so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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