so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
