Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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