I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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