party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
