Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
organizing the empties. That sober.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Randomize
