She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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