The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize