You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
How does one acquire holy water?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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