Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
