i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
sarcasm needs its own font
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
You left your phone here
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