If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
