I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
