my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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