Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Randomize