its not stalking. its research.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Randomize
