We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
