You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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