Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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