Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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