Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
