you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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