are you still at the devil's house?
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize