Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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