the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
