Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
