it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
