Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Randomize
