I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
