He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
