Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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