Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
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