Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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