I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I wish I only lived at night.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize