You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
