I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
