take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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