You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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