He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize