yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Randomize
