she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
