Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Randomize
