Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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