You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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