whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
