i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize
