He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
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