I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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