And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
