I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
