She said her name was "party"
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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