weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize
