I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize