I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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