fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
