he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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