Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Drake has all the answers
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
